If she hadn't been shot
by tiff098765
Summary: What if Beckett hadn't been shot at the funeral? How would she and Castle deal with the whirlwind of emotion of the last week? Sweet, but not cheesy.
1. Chapter 1

_What if Kate hadn't been shot at the funeral? We wouldn't have Rick's "Kate, I love you… I love you, Kate." What would have happened? Would they have the guts to talk about everything they'd just been through?_

xxxxx

The funeral was over, and the small group of friends was having difficulty walking away. The backhoe driver got tired of waiting, and finally began pushing dirt into the hole. The action provided an ominous sense of finality. Castle was the first and only one to speak, "The Old Haunt. Let's go raise a glass." The others nodded and found their way to their vehicles. Beckett parked her Crown Vic back at the motor pool, changed into jeans and a tee shirt in the precinct locker room, & took a cab to the bar. As she rode in the taxi, she wondered if she'd have a moment alone with Castle. She meant what she said in the eulogy - that she was lucky to find someone to stand by her, and she wanted to apologize for her cruel words the other night in her apartment. She'd been going over what to say to him for days, but had pretty much said nothing at all. He clearly didn't know how to take it. She wasn't even sure he got it during the funeral - that she was trying to communicate to him that she was lucky to have him at her side. Castle could read her quite well, usually, but after she'd said they were over, he seemed to have shut down. She had to tell him how thankful she was that, despite her biting words, he'd continued to have her back, even when she didn't want him to, in the hangar. She saw him internalize it when she spoke to him, Ryan, & Esposito; referring to the four of them as an "immediate family." But she knew she needed to say it clearly to him alone. Hinting at things with Castle was so easy; talking to him straight out was so damn hard.

As she walked into the bar, she saw everyone with their glasses or bottles raised & Castle offering a toast. She smiled. Even when he was upset, he was still charming. She ordered her drink and walked over to the booth where her friends sat. She slid in next to Castle. It felt good, right, being there at his side. He was an excellent partner. She ignored the conversation and looked at him. Castle felt her eyes on him and looked down into them. He saw her apology in them. He gave her a half-smile, lightly bumped his arm against hers, and offered a look of silent forgiveness.

He breathed a sigh of relief. This wasn't all he wanted, not by a long shot, but it was them. Back to normal & having silent eye conversations. He reached over to gently set his hand on her knee. The small gesture flooded her with a sense that everything would be okay. She'd touched his knee like that once before, after the Triple Killer got away, and he'd held her hand & accepted her comfort. Now it was her turn. She took his hand and laced her fingers between his. She smiled to herself that half of the conversation she'd been worrying about was over, and neither had spoken a word.

She still wasn't listening to the conversation, but could tell that Castle was half-way participating in it. She could also tell that he was paying far more attention to how she was holding his hand than to the conversation. She gave his hand a small squeeze and leaned towards him. He brought his gaze to hers and asked with his eyes, "What is it?" Kate swallowed, resigned herself to how he could melt her with just a look, and simply said, "Thank you." His sweet smile accompanied her favorite answer: "Always."

xxxxx

_More to come!_


	2. Chapter 2

After a few rounds, the guys were sharing funny stories about the captain, including Castle's second case with the team. Half-drunk Esposito was doing his best Castle impression, telling the haunting hypothetical of the creepy guy in 8B. Fully drunk Ryan took over with Montgomery's "And I wanna know who the hell lives in 8B!"

They were all laughing so hard, and having so much fun telling story after story, that the two drunk detectives didn't notice that Castle had slipped his arm around Beckett's shoulder. Beckett was only a little tipsy. She didn't want to get weepy, so she didn't partake in more than would provide just a nice buzz. But it was enough that her little voice of fear couldn't come crawling out to tell her to push his arm away. She rather liked it there.

They eventually decided to call it a night, and the boys drunk-hugged their good nights before crawling into cabs. Castle placed his hand on the small of Kate's back & led her around to his car. "Rick, we can't drive like this."

"You can't; I can. I quit drinking nearly two hours ago." He opened the door for her and she slid into the leather seat, enjoying the luxury more than she would ever admit. She watched him shift gears with one of those stick shifts where you can switch from manual to automatic. She smoothly slid her fingers up his wrist into his palm, and he released the shifter to entwine his fingers with hers. They rode silently like that, just holding hands.

She could tell he wasn't driving towards either one of their homes, but she didn't ask for an explanation. She rode along quietly contemplating what his purpose in this drive could be and how the nighttime lights played on his handsome features. He made no snarky remarks about her staring at him. He simply stole a glance at her every few minutes, bewitched by her beauty.

Eventually, they were driving along the coast, and he found a spot to pull over. He got out, opened her door, took her hand, and led her out onto the beach. It had been almost an hour since they'd begun their drive, and she was sleepy. But she was also sober. The moon was high and reflecting on the waves. He sat on the sand, bringing her with him. She leaned snug against his side, enjoying the view.

His voice finally came, low and soothing, "Kate, I still don't know what we are. I know what I want us to be, but I need you to tell me what we are."

xxxx

_More to come! Please review!_


	3. Chapter 3

_Chapter 3_

She tilted her head back to look in his eyes. She honestly didn't know how to answer. She was so very tempted to stop this conversation in its tracks. Instead, she wrapped her arms around his waist and rested her head on his shoulder.

She took in the familiar scent of his aftershave and closed her eyes. "I don't what to call this, Rick. I know I like it."

He smiled. She quietly continued, "You make bad days bearable. You bring fun into my life. No one else can make me smile the way you do. No one else challenges me the way you do. And... no one else could hurt me as much as you could."

He wanted to interject that he'd try to never hurt her, to always protect her. She wasn't done, though, so he waited. The steady rhythm of the waves rolling in made the scene peaceful, almost surreal.

"Rick, I … I don't know what this is. Or at least how to label it." She rarely struggled for words. He understood. He had no words when his mother had asked him about his feelings for Kate. His emotion was far too big for any word he knew. He wanted so badly for her to say how she felt, to give him permission to act on how he'd wanted her for so long now… he relished the warmth of her arms around him and kissed the top of her head.

She looked to him; intoxicated by the moonlight shining in his eyes, and said, "But this…" she gave him a gentle squeeze, "this is what I want us to be." She tentatively kissed his lips, barely touching them with hers.

His expression was not the unbridled desire she'd seen the single other time they'd kissed, but something more content. His look quelled the uncertainty in the back of her mind.

He smiled a small, almost shy smile, with a twinkle in his eye, and whispered, "Me too," and consumed her lips in the most heartfelt kiss he had ever offered in his life.


End file.
